what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
