Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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