party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Boobs are out for the taking
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
