But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
