dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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