Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize