that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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