seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
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I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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