i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
