I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
