I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
