Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
