At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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