Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
