Only a mothe r could love this liver
one might say we're banned from that church
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
My pussy is not your playground.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
