You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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