State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
