I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
