People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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