exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
