Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(416): View more from Ontario

If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.

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(810): View more from Michigan

ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth

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(504): View more from Louisiana

Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.

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(905): View more from Ontario

It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner

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(615): View more from Tennessee

i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.

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(440): View more from Ohio

I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?

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(708): View more from Illinois

I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!

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(336): View more from North Carolina

Did you get good sleep?

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

So yes.

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