Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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