i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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