I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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