i jhust puked up my retainher.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I could fuck to npr.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
