apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
