Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
