you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
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Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize