They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
