I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
