Fuck appropriateness.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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