People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
