shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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