Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
