I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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