I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
