people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
