Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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