Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
