it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Randomize
