i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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