T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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