I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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