she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i dont even know how to be here
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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