Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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