how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Ketchup is God's man juice
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
