My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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