Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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