god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Watching her eat just hurts me
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
