you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
