I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
my poor anus
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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