Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
