My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Randomize
