Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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