my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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