You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
My butt remains clenched, sir.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
