i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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