There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
